Aaj fir teri yaad aayi

"Kisi ko ghar mila hisse me, kisi ke paas dukaan aayi,
main ghar me sabse chhota tha, mere hisse me maa aayi."

                                                      - Munawwar Rana

Doston ke beech tanha rehne ki fursat kahan,
laut gaye jab sab ghar, to teri yaad aayi. 

Naye shehero ki chamak bulati rahi humein,
paaya jab andhera, to teri yaad aayi. 

Haste chehro ki bheed me khud ko bhula diya,
dhoond na paye jab khud ki pehchaan, to teri yaad aayi. 

Jashn ke shor me sabke saath hum bhi chillate rahe,
hua jab bhi sannata, to teri yaad aayi. 

Duur makaamo ki hod me, la-haasil is daud me, hamesha waqt ko dosh diya,
thak ke rukna pada jab, to teri yaad aayi.

Ab hoti hai tabiyat kharab, to koi nahi haal poochta hai,
aaj hua thoda zukhaam, to fir teri yaad aayi. 

- Kartik

On the move

Why am I always in such a hurry? It isn't just me, is it? Everyone is running. I should've stopped... as they say, to smell the roses. All we ever smell is the stink. All we ever see is the filth. And we choose to live with that. And then the day comes when we can't stand the stench any longer. So we choose to move on. 

As I move on today, I can't help but reflect on what I leave behind. And no, it's not the stink that I remember. 

True, there were falls to be had and hurts to be endured. Some wounds festered and a few healed over time, but the scar tissue remained. But today, none of that matters. In hindsight, it never really mattered even then. I was a fool then. Maybe I still am. But at least not in the same ways. I would be fooled again. I might fall again and get my knees scraped. But not in the same places. I'd be wiser. The wounds hopefully wouldn't be so deep then. 

As I move on today, I remove the poultices. But no, it's not the wounds I remember. 

I walk past the garbage dump and take a turn. Preening out from the fencing is a shrub of roses in full bloom. I had walked past them everyday without ever according the sight much time. 

Before I move on today, I stop. And I go closer, bend, and then get down on one knee. Today, I smell the roses. 

And so it began

‘Wake up, beta. We don’t want to be late now’. With these soft words whispered into his ear, his mother gently shook him up. He got up with a start from the edge of his parents’ bed. Rubbing his eyes to squeeze the sopor still filling his body out through them, he squinted up at his mother who was holding the toothbrush ready in her hand. With a quick glance around the bedroom, he saw his father in the far corner sipping his first tea of the morning.

As the young boy, barely a few months over three years, silently walked towards the bathroom, a strange unexplained dread started filling him. Now that he was fully awake, the horrific memory of events of the previous morning came back to him. He shuddered to even think about it. ‘What if it happens again today’, he thought, and his whole body was gripped in consternation. ‘No, they won’t make me suffer like this again’, he heard another voice inside his head say. And he prayed to god with all devotion that it was right; that, perhaps, they weren’t so heartless. They were his parents, after all, and from what he had heard, parents were supposed to love their children. And so he prayed hard, without knowing that his pleas were wasted on a god who doesn’t have any powers outside stories and myths. It would be many years later, and not after this particular morning, when the boy would finally realize the futility of prayers and stop believing.

His mother understood, on seeing her child’s sullen face, that she had a tough task at hand. Having undergone the same pain the day before, she had cursed herself for putting her child through this excruciating rite of passage. But she knew that it had to be done nonetheless. She even had a plan in place to make this transition easier.

‘We are going to the zoo today’, she announced cheerfully to her son.

Still not quite trusting of his mother, the boy’s face conveyed an expression which betrayed both fear and hope. Only when his mother diverted his gaze towards the fancy t-shirt and blue jeans she had laid out for him on the bed, did a smile start playing out on his lips. His worries were all in vain, he thought, and swiftly forgetting the terrors of the past, he got dressed and ready just as his father finished his second tea.

Once firmly seated in his mother’s lap in the front seat of his father’s white Maruti 800, he couldn’t wait to see the cheetahs and the bears and ride on the toy-train at the zoo. ‘What a great start to the day’, he reflected, wondering if the tigers would be asleep at this early hour.

They had been on the road for hardly ten minutes when he started feeling that something was amiss. The same cloud of dread started hovering over him again, threatening to pour all over his happiness. And then it hit him, with all the force of a violent torrent.

‘We are not going to the zoo!’, he mouthed under his breath, and started grappling to free himself from his mother’s lap. As the Maruti slowly came to a halt, he could not believe the extreme treachery of it all when the damned gates of the hallowed school premises loomed up in front of him. Adept hands came down in swift motion and replaced the fancy t-shirt and blue jeans with the white shirt and grey pants of the school uniform. It had all been a part of the plan all along. If he was at home, all he had to do was shed some tears and stir up a commotion, and his grandfather would have come to his rescue. ‘Let the boy be. Why force him when he doesn’t want to go? He’s much too young to be going to school anyway. We’ll send him when he’s ready’, his adoring grandfather would admonish mother and father.

But now, he was trapped in the car. He struggled at first and put up a fight, pleaded and whined, and then resorted to crying desolately in the end.

And so it began.

The six of us

[ A conversation dated 26 December, 2011 ]

Hyde: This is fun.. It's not so bad after all.

Bane: Oh yeah.. So you don't miss me at all then.

Hyde: It's not like that, man..

Bane, getting a little worked up: Oh yeah? Then what's it like?

Hyde: Forget it, man.. You're still trapped there.

Bane: No no.. tell me. I want to know.

Glum, who was sitting silently in a corner all this while, chips in: Hey Bane.. For what it's worth.. I miss you.

Hyde: Shut up Glum, will ya? It's not about you. Okay Bane, I'll tell you. It's not like I don't miss you at all. It's just that I had imagined that I'd be stuck up in some shitty place with no friends. But truth is, it's not really like that. I'm having a good time here. And maybe..

Bane: Maybe what?

Hyde: Maybe I'm not realizing it now. But I guess I'm having it even better than it was with you..

Bane: You smug bastard.. I knew something was amiss..

Hyde: Hey, I still visit once in a while.

Glum: But Hyde, it's not the same now, not without the trio. Why don't you get it!

Hyde: Why do you keep butting in, Glum? Let Bane speak for himself. I'm pretty sure he's not missing much without me. Why don't we just get moving with our lives. And Glum, you should be grateful for all the good times you shared with us and just learn to let go.. Can't be living in the past now, can we!

And now, emerging from the shadows, Darko: Ah! True that. Pearls of wisdom.

Bane: Oh, so you're still lurking around, Darko. I wonder what kept you from rearing your evil head for so long.

Darko: Oh Bane, come on now. This is how you greet your old friend.

Bane: Friend, you say!

Darko: Ouch! You strike right where it hurts. I never left. You were the one who neglected me then. And now, I don't need you. Because you know what, your story is over now. Hyde is here now and he takes good care of me. Isn't that right, Hyde?

Hyde: Not now, Darko. It's enough already dealing with Glum here..

Darko: Blame not me for Glum's problems. You gotta deal with it yourself. I can't help it if doing what I gotta do makes Glum the way he is.

Glum: I can go away. But you do know yourself that Darko needs me. And so do you. You might not see me for a while, but you can be sure that I'm only hiding in a closet somewhere, ready to come out and play any time.

Darko (with a smirk on his face): Ha! Guess it's high time you actually came out of the closet, Glum.

Bane: Okay Darko, we don't need your caustic jokes now.

Darko: No no no, my dear Bane. Now is the most opportune time for it.

Bane: Don't you..

Hyde: Let it rest, Bane. He can't change who he is. And neither can we. It's best we come to terms with reality as soon as humanly possible.

Darko: That would be best for all of us. And let that stupid Hart know that too. He's the one who needs this advice the most.

Hyde (laughing): Yeah.. you're right.

Bane: Where is Hart, by the way? Wasn't he too supposed to be here? You did call him, right, Hyde?

Hyde: Yeah, I did. But you know him. Never really complies with what you tell him. But don't worry, he'll hopefully figure out soon what he wants.

Darko: And I need to see K. too. It's finally time to have a sit down with him. Questions need to be asked. Answers must be given. We can not put this off any longer. Till then, adios amigos.

Hyde: So long..

Guitar Man

he listened to the guitar man and thought he could be one too
he found meaning in his words and dreamed of writing too
sometimes grew inspired and penned down a few
most of it was crap and none of it was new

he tried to sing along and add some music to it
that didn't help much and he ended up feeling like shit
the spark was there but he wished for more fire
searching for that light to get him higher

they said he was a nice guy and that's what he thought too
he believed them but knew not all of it was true
for deep down he felt under-compensated
waiting for something that was much belated

he longed for his friends though he had friends here too
spending long nights trying to make the perfect brew
having until now only watched the hawks that flew
he realized that it was now his turn too

Sleepy Saturday

Ever had one of those days where you sleep right through them? I mean, you've had a long hard week of work. Okay, not that much hard work, but still a long week. The Manic Monday, which you entirely spent going through the clutter of a few hundred mails which had gathered in your mailbox over the weekend. You didn't even read all of them, but cared enough to just mark them as read. The Torrid Tuesday, on which you actually finished up that piece of work you were supposed to do the previous week. And the Wishful Wednesday, which you spent with conceited ideas about the grandness of the work that you're doing and delusions about the meaningful purpose of the sedentary life that you lead. Then the Truthful Thursday, when you actually realized that you're an inconsequential speck in the universe and what you do (or don't do) doesn't mean shit to anyone else. And lastly, the Favoured Friday, when all you had hatching in your mind were plots to leave early from work, so you can go get sloshed in some shady corner of the city. Well, you get the drift...

And now you have Sleepy Saturday ahead of you, with nothing much that you've planned to do. Of course, you had plans of catching that movie and finishing up that book. But then, eventually you do give in. After only twenty minutes into the movie or fifteen pages into the book, dopiness overpowers you. And you let it do so since it's simply so blissful. Slam the laptop screen shut, or fling away the book... Okay, now I don't really do that. I safely keep aside my precious laptop after putting it on hibernation, or carefully place the book on the bedside table after placing the bookmark, and then I get on with it. Switch over to the dark side, if you know what I mean.

Fast forward n hours (who cares how many hours you slept), and you are sitting up in bed, fully energized, raring to go and conquer the world, and that's when you glance at your watch. The entire day has passed and now you have only the whole night ahead of you. And you obviously can't go back to sleep, because...well, now you can't sleep. It's like being left high and dry with a boner and all you can do is take matters into your own hand. That's what you might actually do to while away time once you've woken up like this in the middle of the night. Obviously, you're hungry too, so you cook up a quick omelette to nibble on and brew a cup of tea for yourself. The chai is an absolute must because that's the first thing I want on waking up, irrespective of the iniquitous hour I wake up at.

Then you finally get round to watching that movie you wanted to, go on to watch a couple of tv series episodes too, check your gmail and facebook to find other nocturnal creatures out there, get bored and shut down your laptop. But the night is still young and you're still not sleepy enough to go back to sleep again. Ah, what else is there to be done in the world, you wonder. Might as well try writing something which you're pretty sure will end up as a superfluous rant. And congratulations, you've succeeded at that.

Should probably get on with the book now and wait for Smug Sunday. Oh, it's here already!

सितारों से आगे जहां और भी हैं

मंजिल  मिल  गयी  है  तुम  को, अपनी  मंजिल  की  राह  पे  हम  भी  हैं
मंजिलों  से  आगे  कारवां  और  भी  हैं

की  थी  जो  शुरुआत  तुम  ने, अंजाम  की  तलाश  में  हम  भी  हैं
इस  कहानी  से  आगे  किस्से  और  भी  हैं

थोड़े  तन्हा  तुम  हो, थोड़ी  तन्हाई  के  नशे  में  हम  भी  हैं
तन्हाईओं  से  आगे  मुलाकातें  और  भी  हैं

नींद  ना  आई  तुम  को, जागे  हुए  से  हम  भी  हैं
सपनों  से  आगे  सवेरे  और  भी  हैं

The Joke

Someone tells you a joke. It’s a good one. So you laugh, obviously.  Others have a good laugh too. You laugh because the joke seems funny to you, primarily because you have never heard it before. Till this point, all is well with the human race and its kind. Probably barring a few with loose bowel motions and blocked toilets …

The next day, he tells you a joke again. Your instinctive reaction is to laugh. You haven’t even digested the punch line yet, but the smile is already there on your stupid face. Maybe because your face isn’t the only part of you that’s stupid …

But wait, you’ve heard this one before. His band of castrated followers is already in roaring splits of laughter, congratulating their leader on his impeccable sense of humour, clapping at the very novelty of the idea behind the joke, and wiping away tears wrenched out of their eyes from laughing so hard.

And so it goes … day in and day out. He repeats the same jokes at every opportunity that he gets to open his mouth. The jokes soon become cruel. The neutered men laugh. The women laugh too, obviously. You give in, and laugh along with them. What a way to benumb your brains, and that too without any help from recent movies starring Salman Khan.

And you wonder, maybe this is how he castrated the others who then joined his coterie. By repeating his same stupid jokes to them every day.


With all due respect, your jokes, as Venus Williams once rightly said, “... are like my penis, everybody has heard about it and they laugh uncontrollably. It's not so funny after it's shoved down your throat daily, though.”


Edit: Obviously, Venus Williams didn't actually say that. I was kidding.

Serena did.

भीड़ में अकेला

दिल तो बस धड़कते ही रह गए

भीड़ में बस अकेले ही रह गए

लभ रहे खामोश, नम रही आँखें

और कहनी थी जो बात, वो तो कोई और ही कह गए

तनहाइयों में आपको ढूंडते ही रह गए

सूनी इन गलियों में भटकते ही रह गए

ख़त्म हो गए रास्तें, मंज़िल फिर भी रही दूर

और काटनी थी साथ जो उम्र, उसे अकेले ही सह गए


पीछे जिनको छोड़ आये थे, वो याद बन के रह गए

जो हमारे थे पास, वो बस बात बन के रह गए

तय कर लिया था कितना, और कितनी थी राह बाकी

बस कदमों के निशाँ हम गिनते ही रह गए


लफ्ज़ों के जाल हम बुनते ही रह गए

सुलझने की कोशिश में और उलझते ही रह गए

ऊँचे थे ख्वाब, कम पड़ गए थे हौसले

और पार करना था जो समंदर, उसी में डूब के बह गए


दिल तो बस धड़कते ही रह गए

भीड़ में बस अकेले ही रह गए

webcomics and me

With a lot of free time on my hands, I have been reading a lot of web comics lately. So I thought of doing a quick compilation of my favorites. Now, don't worry.. this isn't going to be a review of each of them. It's up to you to explore them and take your pick depending on your tastes and ahem.. your level of intellect.

xkcd obviously takes the prime spot and it seems sacrilegious to mention it in a list along with other earthly entities. Doing so would be a direct insult to the great man Randall Munroe himself.

Here's a list of the others I've been following:

• Abstruse Goose
• Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
• PhD Comics
• Dinosaur Comics
• The Testimonial Comics
• Questionable Content
• BROWN sharpie
• brainstuck
• Indexed
• left-handed toons
• A Geek Story
• Not Funny

Now, coming to the part for which I'm actually writing this post...

There's this one strip from smbc which I particularly liked. It features an artist, a scientist and a mathematician. But hey, why isn't an engineer's perspective there... So, I just added one last panel to the comic to complete the picture.

good shit, right?